Fake it for Now

What's the latest dilemma? The same old anxiety about getting a job. Remember, been there and done this a million times over. I think that's how I spent the majority of my worry from 2003-2006. Being independent. It's the fear that consumes me. It's the insecurity. But why should it? The old glee at feeling free before is gone, mostly. What's left is the fear. What makes me think I can do anything? I can't but others can, and I'll just fake it for now.

Outta the Blue

Call today from a recruiter out of the blue. I guess they usually are. It's a publications position with a big pharma. Sounds interesting. Certainly a better fit for me than working on the outside looking in. I think that was a major problem in the last gig. Of course, this may be another day another ding. In fact, it's likely to be. But you got to keep throwing stuff at the wall and all.

St. Joseph's Post-MBA

Wow, intense two day course in global corporate strategy in St. Joe's Executive Pharma Marketing program. Too short a time to learn much through osmosis, but it was well structured and the interaction of the class is priceless. All people from the industry. I'm a cynic about networking, feel that it is exploitative. But knowing people, and knowing the type of jobs they do is helpful. I will pursue this certificate, just not sure when. And the either or decision between the regulatory affairs cert and the post-MBA cert is a non issue for now. They are not mutually exclusive, in fact they would build on each other quite nicely.

Another Day, Another Day

Yes, it's been a week now since I got the latest Ding. But I haven't had time to focus on that negative because I got some project work going on. Which is a good Thing. It's easy to get carried away and think that this project work would continue, but let's just concentrate on today. I have two projects today which will keep me busy all week. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Another interview

Interview yesterday at a firm that does clinical data collection software. Went well. First meeting with the VP Sales & Marketing, and things went well enough that he sprung me on the CEO. That seemed to go well, too. Though you never know. They're now in the process of checking references, which is a good sign. One of my refs emailed me back and said he had spoken with them. So that's good, I'm sure he took care of me.

The job is marketing manager, and back to the future for me if it happens. I would love it. And am already starting to think of ways to get er done.

I hope my next post doesn't read "Another Day, Another Ding"
All for now...

I received interest in my resume from a recruiter in the pharmaceutical marketing communications arena. It's an account services position, which I think I would do well at, given my past experiences. But she was hesitant because my resume really isn't an easy sell for her. After all, I've done a lot of different things.

I'm more eclectic than your typical applicant, I think. Harder to put a label on me, which is good and also bad. It's good because I don't want to be labeled as one thing or another. But it's bad because I am not an easy read for recruiters, or for interviewers really. So that is making things a bit tough. Still, I think something will work out. I am working on a few consulting opportunities in the mean time. I know that didn't work out last time, when I tried to be mr competitive intelligence. But I think if I broaden my approach to be a more general marketing services provider I might have better luck.

Another Day, Another Ding

Well, bad news from the folks at the marketing agency I interviewed with last Thursday. They felt I was weak in the marketing area. Which I called about, and heard that I didn't come across as if I had done anything independently. Which came as a shock, and I reacted angrily. Fact is, I've produced lots of marketing materials, but that was five years ago and I guess it's just not that fresh in my mind. The owner of this firm didn't like the fact that I kept talking about working in teams to produce marketing outcomes. But that's how it's done, so I don't know any other way. In any case, not the right fit, do move on.

Met today with a career counselor from St. Joe's. It was great to get some feedback from her on my job search strategies and give her a sense of where I stand, career wise. She gave me a Myers Briggs site to go to and do the evaluation, which they then link into career possibilities. Seems like a good system. And taking a step back to look at what I am a fit for, although I think I know, is the right thing to do now. I want to open up my world, and my search.

PS: Also applied for a job at Starbucks, we'll see how that goes. Could be interesting, or a real drag. We'll see.

Chow for now, MaRoHa

Well, the open house interview at Square 2 Marketing went well. A little different, definitely cost effective from their stand point. But also good from mine. Hell of a long commute, but...

There were five others interviewing, some for the same position, Marketing Consultant, some for designer jobs. From the firm's standpoint, it was a team approach, which was similar to my other recent agency interview at Digitas. But this time everyone showed up! At both Digitas interviews, the senior account executive couldn't be bothered to sit in on the interview. "Called away to a client emergency..." on one of the occasions. No explanation on the other miss.

The Square 2 crew, Mike, Eric and the rest, seems sharp (Hi gang!). Love what their doing, it's in line with the latest, and best thinking on how to run permission marketing programs. Name drops of Seth Goodin, and the E-Myth guy, so I knew they have their heads in the right place. And it shows from what they're practicing on their site and in their business. Eric talked alot about process and procedures and systems. All E-Myth stuff. Plus used the example of the pie lady who started her own shop. A good reminder, and resonated with me.

I was with another candidate for the Marketing Consultant job, Ross, and it was insightful to see what's going through another person's mind when the questions come. I know I felt comfortable because I hadn't expected to come out with some of the stuff I discussed but it all felt natural and was on topic, even surprised myself with my candid response to Eric's question of "what's your plan?" Of course, I was the third person asked this so had time to prepare, but didn't prepare to talk about some of what I did.

They're looking for a speedy turnaround on the decision for next steps with candidates. So should hear soon. They were just sitting down to hash things out when I left about 8:40 pm. Got to love that about a small business, no process delays or political BS or coordinating with some outside recruiter. Just talk to me and tell me what you think. Thumbs up or thumbs down, don't make me wait around.

Hello,

Got an exciting interview tomorrow at a marketing services agency that focuses on small businesses. A lot of what they speak about is similar to what Robert Middleton conveyed in the marketing action group I attended when I was trying to get Streamway off the ground. I think I was close to getting something going. But I don't know, maybe my focus was wrong. That the type of companies I was targeting, small biomedical technology companies, were not that interested in competitive intelligence but might have been interested in the more complete view of marketing.

Maybe joining Square 2 Marketing would give me a new way to approach these businesses. Use my contacts to build their business. Sounds great. Let's do it.

Other rejects continue to roll in though. But I'm not that worried. Something will turn up for sure. Maybe this Square 2 Marketing is the thing!

Cheers

Another Interveiw

Another interview last Friday. This time for a client side marcom position with one of Fortune Magazine's Best Companies to work for the last 11 years. Everyone I mention this opportunity to tells me "Good Company." And I've known about them for the last few years. In fact, I used to be a Fortune Subscriber, so maybe that's the first place I read about them.

In any case, the interview went well, as you might expect given that I have some depth of experience as a client side comms manager. The Account Manager interviews I've been doing just haven't brought out the same level of experience because it doesn't exist. No surprise there.

So now I wait to hear back. Maybe a long wait, not sure where they are in their decision process. Could be a few weeks, or so. Who knows. Got to start looking for the next interview. And I have one pending at an internet software company that also sounds promising. Of course, I'd like to work for the Fortune's Best company first, even though the commute is roughly twice what it would be to the software company. Still, got to be patient as these things will work themselves out over time.

Met yesterday with a hired gun headhunter.  They want me to pay them to find me a job.  Predictable criticism of my current job hunt.  And they want a big fee for their service, which seems like a good thing. But hard to say.  In the end, am I happy with the way the search is going?  I think so, not thrilled.  Things seem to be tight.  But okay.  It takes time, and I need to have patience.  And I do.  Let things unfold.  Not sure where it will end up, and that's okay.  So just take it a day at at time and keep looking.  

Two interviews setting up over the next two weeks or so.  One on the agency side in pharma, and one on the client side not in pharma. In a completely different yet exciting company that I've known about for a 10 years.  Great reputation as a cool place to work, and very good to their employees.  But a long way from West Pikeland.  In fact, both jobs might require a move in order not to kill myself with the commute.

But the question remains, agency or client side?  On the agency side, though there are things about it I like, you are always selling.  In a constant mode of what can we do for you next?  Also in a service mode, an external provider, not part of the internal machine.  Maybe this is why I've struck out, had bad luck, on the agency side.  Maybe the constant sales mode is too foreign to me.  I'm not a natural fit for that kind of position.  Whereas on the client side you are being serviced, you are managing vendors, you are put in a position of authority.  This sounds a little simplistic, but I think it's true based on my experience.  I have to look at the record and think about where I have been most content, and what I was doing  in the job at the time.  It comes down to client side.  Am I trying to fit a round peg in a square hole by pursuing agency work?

Job Ding a Ling

Well, got another few job Dings this week.  Not too surprising, but the ad agency gave me the thumbs down yesterday after a somewhat disappointing interview Monday.  Not a big deal, though I would have liked it to work out.  Wasn't meant to be.  A few other dings, also no surprise and even less of a big deal.

Meantime, I had a good phone interview Wednesday with WL Gore in the Wilmington area. This is a company I've known about since business school due to their impressive organization and results.  They've been on the Fortune 100 best placed to work for 11 years.  Sounds like a really cool place.  It would be great to have an interview there, meet more of the people one on one.  But working there logistically might be a headache.  Long drive.  Perhaps we would have to move.  But we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.  If we come to it.  

Otherwise, keeping busy with my internet scams and free work (understanding online media world and setting up to help a company that has no revenue).  I guess it's all free work isn't it?

Agency Interview Done

Well, had the interview yesterday at the Ad Agency.  Met with three people, a project manager and two account directors.  The position was for Account Manager working on a cardiovascular product.  First interview went well but the second two didn't seem to take off too much as when the discussion came to "what specific digital projects have you done" I didn't have a whole lot to talk about.  They are interviewing two others this week and will let me know by Monday if I will take the next steps.  Chances of that are slim.  But I'm glad to have had the chance to go speak with them.  

Good Interview with Ad Agency

Hello,

Had a good interview yesterday with a HR person from a large advertising agency with a pharma focus.  It went well, especially when I started talking about what I needed and wanted from my next gig.  I do get enthused about it...the fact that I need and want to have a role in the production of content.  I don't need to be the sole editor.  But I want to be more than the Account Manager who comes up with some topics and then hands over the creative process to medical writers, as I was doing in my last gig.  

The job they are trying to fill, and have me in mind for, is an Account Director position working with a large pharma on a heart disease medication.  You know it sounds like a lot of fun.  In fact, I was up late thinking about it.  I believe I would like it, and do well with it and have a ton o fun, as I said.  

My one worry is that this is another Accounts job and my last experience with an Accounts job wasn't so good. It made me push away from this type of job into PR work, or pursuing PR work I should say.

Still, there were lots of things I liked about the last job.  I lurve working with clients.  Yes, they can be difficult.  But I have a good time working the relationship, nurturing it so to speak.  I really enjoy that sort of stuff.  It's a character trait of mine, relationship building.  Of course, this can be taken to extremes, in people pleasing, and not asking the client to pull the trigger.  Or worrying that I might offend them by asking for decisions.  But as long as I'm clear with them about goals, about their goals and what they want to get out of the relationship.  I think I'll do well.  Clarify that up front.  I'm working for you, I'm supporting you.  But I need your honest direction on where you want to go.  Because if you don't know, or can't articulate that, I can't help you.  And I don't want you to feel bad about saying no to me when I recommend something extra, or new or exciting.  This is the way we will come up with the best ideas, by pushing back against each other until we come up with the best possible approach.

Okay, reality check is that this could go nowhere. HR people have been treating me great, especially from Ad Agencies lately (maybe that is where I'm gravitating).  You have a great resume...  But still nothing happens.  The position gets filled and I'm left holding the bag.  So I don't want to get my hopes up but will continue to work it the best I can.

ADD musings

First Blog post. A lot going on, but nothing. At least I'm not supid lazy or crazy. Wow, four weeks yesterday I left my job. What have I done in a month? Well, went to Coldarado for a week with the family, did some skiing and some family time. Got sick for a week upon my return. And started looking for a job. Oh, also, exploring whether I have ADD, by the way. This could be a life changing thing and I want to give it time and not skip over the important stuff, like the work that will be involved in finding out. Also, won't see a psychiatrist until May 15, so meantime I've seen a psychologist, career coach. Not sure how much value there was in doing that. Maybe the "real" doc will be more insightful. While it was good to get feedback from the coach, a different perspective on my work situation, I feel like there were no conclusions made. Of course, he can't make a diagnosis and coming to some conclusions will take time. He did give me something to work on which I have started building toward.

Feeling like I'm in limbo land though. Because I need to do the work and figure out what jobs would be good for me if I do have ADD. But I think I already know what I want to do. That is, I would like to do a similar job, Account Management or Business Development at a marketing communications agency or corporate communications within a company. As long as I can have a hand in content development. I don't have to initiate all the content, but I would like to be part of the development process, have a hand in its creation. The creative part of me was unsatisfied in my last position. I think this contributed to my frustation and poor performance. I was unconnected to the final output, the product we were selling. Except in the case of running a symposium, where I was Johnny on the Spot, loved that high energy and lots of moving parts. And also working on the DVD, producing it, getting the transitions right. Would have liked to work with a different vendor, though, sorry to have missed out on that.

The limbo part is, what if I am diagnosed with ADD, how will that change my job search strategy? And what if I am not diagnosed with ADD, what does that mean? That I have some of the symptoms and will have to find a job that maximizes my strengths and minimizes my weaknesses. I don't know that that job will be. I want to be open to all the possibilities. Don't crowd me in.