Same Thing Same Results

Haven't posted in a while. Long while. Haven't written a thing. A year ago this time I was suffering because business was so slow with Aflac. Plus, I wasn't crazy about the zaniness of running hither and yon to maybe write some business somewhere. Did I give it enough time? Yes, over a year. Then I saw this posting for licensed agents here and applied online. Received a response within a day and was hired a few days later. Liked the idea of steady income. No, I wouldn't be my own boss. But I wasn't anyway. I was my own boss in how I managed my time. But not sure I'm the best boss of that anyway. Would rather have a task given to me and then manage how to do it. So, now I find myself again suffering. As I have periodically over the last ten months. This time thinking: What the hell have I done. How did I get here? How does someone like me end up answering the phones for a living? I'm better than this. So maybe I am. And I've been applying for work to try and make a change. I'll hear this week on whether that's been successful. If not, we'll try something else completely. Or, hang in here and wait for something to open up that works for me.

June 15. Going back to the 4th District today. Another late night early morning deal. Would like to do an ezine called Better Benefits. Could do a synposis of the American Medical Journal article. Plus info from the Inquirere article. I know how to do this. I will do this. First issue will be July 2009, with release June 29.

Made my Fast Start

Didn't think I'd do it. But got a lot of help from Bob. Now shooting for Fireball. Don't think I'll get there, but that's what I said before Fast Start. Ya Never Know!

Novacare Training Center

Went to Novacare, Eagles Training center, last night for Aflac awards dinner. Very cool to see the locker room and meet with one of the defensive coaches. Good award. Keep working for more of them!

Aflac Fast Start

looks like I will miss the 5500 revenue target. too bad, but being away last week in Scotland made it extra hard.

Fake it for Now

What's the latest dilemma? The same old anxiety about getting a job. Remember, been there and done this a million times over. I think that's how I spent the majority of my worry from 2003-2006. Being independent. It's the fear that consumes me. It's the insecurity. But why should it? The old glee at feeling free before is gone, mostly. What's left is the fear. What makes me think I can do anything? I can't but others can, and I'll just fake it for now.

Outta the Blue

Call today from a recruiter out of the blue. I guess they usually are. It's a publications position with a big pharma. Sounds interesting. Certainly a better fit for me than working on the outside looking in. I think that was a major problem in the last gig. Of course, this may be another day another ding. In fact, it's likely to be. But you got to keep throwing stuff at the wall and all.